plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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