Already got asked if we're dating
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
