I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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