Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
