We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
