My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
