Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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