We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Found the puke drawer
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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