I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
