their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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