spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
