rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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