He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize