I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
