I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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