So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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