Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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