Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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