Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
