I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
