I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
