Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
