He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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