how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
