Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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