we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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