everyone is single if you try hard enough
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
