one might say we're banned from that church
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
