Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
