how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
