a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
