My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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