Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
