I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
