Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
