i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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