Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Boobs are out for the taking
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
