billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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