she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
