Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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