my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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