READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
