Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
