Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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