how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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