can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The air taste purple.
Randomize
