marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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