Sober January is a disaster.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
