2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
