im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
