How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
