I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
