Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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