So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
