You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
