I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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