dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We got so high we made milksteak
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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