Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We need to get me chipped asap
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
