Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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