his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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