It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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