Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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