I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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