Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
