Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
