you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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