For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
