dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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