Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize