K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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