its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
